geekmetal

The Seattle Freeze = “Take a hint.”

Anyone can be from Seattle. I’ll show you how. You have to do the work, and be careful what you wish for. I’ll enjoy the show!

First rule: Don’t bitch about Seattle Freeze.

I can tell you’re not from here if you bitch about the Seattle Freeze.

 

Second rule: Know your history.

Romabit refers to the individualism of the pioneers…I think he’s right. I’m going to tell you a little something about some of those pioneers. My people didn’t come to Seattle happily singing hymns off the side of a cute little covered wagon.

My people were miners, mule team drivers and ship wrights. My dad told me that the only thing a miner feared was his woman. I beleive that. I come from a long line of tougher-than-miners women who were smart, careful, kept to themselves and taught their children to do the same. The term ‘skid row’ was invented here! Think about that! Imagine the kinds of people that lived here. That’s who I descended from.

Third Rule: Stay out of my personal space! and I promise to stay out of yours.

I can tell someone’s not from here by how close they stand. There are some people who just don’t get it when I back up. I hate it when you invade my personal space.

Fourth Rule: Don’t hug me if we see each other again, and don’t take it personally.

Fifth Rule: Don’t bitch about the weather.

It rains in Seattle. It rains. The rain is a chronic condition. Learn to live with it. If we didn’t go outside in the rain, we would never go out.

Rule number six: Don’t get in your car to see the sun breaks and then crash into me.

Yes, sometimes the sun comes out. Does it remind you of home? Click your heels, Dorothy, leave the Emerald City. There is no place like home. JUST DON’T DO IT ON I-5!

Rule Seven: Get a grip!

I can tell someone’s not from here when they build a million dollar curb-and-gutter tract house in the boonies that used to be a beautiful stand and then bitch because it floods. They get in the car and drive an hour to go 20 miles and then bitch because the traffic is congested? WTF did you expect? (BTW, Bellevue and points East are the boonies.)

Rule Eight: Don’t bitch about being here.

I can tell someone’s not from here when they bitch about being here. I avoid those people. When I spend time with them, I feel like I’ve just had an encounter with a vampire. If you don’t like it here, leave. Go suck someone else’s energy.

    Rule Number Nine: Accept that you are a either a pirate, a privateer, or a prostitute.

Outsiders come here to take what they can and move on. Some are here waiting to hit it big, some have forgotten what we’re looking for, some enslaved by the drugs, and booze and the lure of easy money, and some of us are here because it works for us. Enough people have made it big to keep the gold rush alive. I don’t need to name the famous people from Seattle. If you honestly break it out you already know they’re pirates, privateers and prostitutes.

    Rule Ten: Once you are from Seattle, you will always be from Seattle.

I know people who were born here, and left. There are people all over the world “from Seattle.” No shame in that. Instead of criticizing me for being polite in public, how about saying a heart felt prayer before you sleep tonight grateful that I didn’t smack the shit out of your smug self when you found out I am “from Seattle.” Because I know, no matter where I go or how long I stay there, I will ALWAYS be from Seattle.

    Rule Eleven: If you are bored, you are boring.

I am never bored and I think people who come here and bitch about being bored are boring.

    Rule Twelve: Be cool and watch what you say.

The article is right, I won’t tell you that you are boring to your face, because I won’t do or say anything that might set you off, just in case you are actually a nut. Anyone can go off. Never know who. We’ve seen enough home-grown nuts to know what we’re talking about. Some of the worst nuts in modern history are from Seattle. It took a long time to find Ted Bundy and Gary Ridgway… So, don’t expect me to go out of my way to spend time with you just so you won’t think I’m cold.

    Thirteen: Don’t start talking out of the blue.

And don’t be offended when I give you my, “Who-are-you-and-why-are-you-t alking-to-me-are-you-weird-or- crazy?” look. It’s not a dirty, confrontational look that would incite a crazy person to harm me. It’s a look that says, “I’m from Seattle. I don’t talk to strangers. Back off but don’t be mad.”

    Fifteen: Chill.

I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t even want you to think of me.

Are we having fun yet? You still want to call this Home? Not everyone makes it. We’ve all lost someone we love.

    Sixteen: Dwell on it.

You will never be home in Seattle if you don’t address a basic question: “Where am I and why am I in this hand-basket?” Why did you come here if you didn’t know someone? and you will dwell on it. We dwell on everything. Quietly. It’s impolite to dwell in public. It’s impolite to interrupt someone else while they’re dwelling on it.

    Seventeen: Get on with it.

I can tell you’re not from Seattle if you are still pretending you’re so innocent. You’re not trying to make new friends. You’re networking. You’re trying to find the vein of gold to stake your claim. I know what you’re doing. Don’t bother with a social. There are very rich veins in Seattle where a little bit of leather goes a long way. Admit it and get on with it.

    Eighteen: Get over yourself!

Newcomers today, are the same kinds of people that Seattle has always attracted. Instead of the gold mines of the past, you want to strike it rich in the data mines, suck up the money and trample the forests and move on. In the old days, they cut down the trees and built houses. Newcomers cut down the trees and build houses. You are not superior to us. You are pirates and privateers and prostitutes, too. The difference is we’ve been here longer, we’re better at it, we’re closer to the water and we know who we are: We are the people your children will become.

    Nineteen: Hang out.

We’re laid back and accepting and diverse. We understand the code. I won’t keep you from doing anything you want. I don’t care what color you are or what your politics are or what your game is. I enjoy a good show! New blood brings new money. So, let’s hang out. It’ll be fun! Hang out enough, I’ll recognize your face. We’ll be regulars.

    Twenty: Don’t freak out.

We know what “Whatever” means and we know how to use it. Seattlelites are not gentle, angry people. We are tough as nails and we prove it every day just by being here, and being polite. Remember WTO? That wasn’t about saving the planet. It was about trashing Seattle. It’s what Outsiders do. Seattlelites hung out. We were cool. It was a good show. Why didn’t I call you back? I didn’t call you back, because I didn’t.

Take a hint.

Have a nice day! :^D

post taken from here